Home Sweet Home

This past week has been an emotional roller coaster. I will wake up in the morning completely fine but have a mental breakdown by breakfast. It is an indescribable feeling knowing I have to leave two kids that won’t ever understand why I’m leaving them.

In the midst of one breakdown, Eoghan walks up to me looking totally confused ‘Wha wha what’s wrong? Where’s Taylor?’ I tell him that I’m just a little bit sad because I have to leave him and go back to America, but he of course doesn’t understand that. His quasi-ADD kicks in and he tells me to look at the cows out the window… ADD or he’s learned my distraction-when-crying technique! He was precious to say ‘I will never have another friend like Page.’ Way to make a girl’s heart melt.

On Tuesday Eoghan went to bed for the first time without his ‘doe doe’ (pacifier). As he had been promised, he woke up the next morning to find a present from the ‘doe doe fairy’ under ‘his’ tree out front. In his pride that morning, he also convinced himself that he had grown taller. What a night that must have been!

Wednesday night the Fordes invited their extended families down for a goodbye dinner. They went so far out of their way to make a massive amount of food and dessert. It was great being able to see everyone one last time together. I held it together pretty well until Eoghan and Gillian brought me out a birthday cake. Guess this will be one of those years Mom hates when we end up having about 18 different birthday parties! Towards the end of the party I gave Gillian and Kieran their thank you gift from me- a DVD of pictures and videos from the past year. I don’t think they had realized how much their children had grown in my time here until they saw the pictures. I still can’t really believe it myself.

Its been such a blessing to have been a part of their lives for the past eleven months. Watching the kids grow and learn new things is one of the most rewarding things I’ve ever done. I can’t take credit for any of their major accomplishments, but just being able to watch it has been payment enough. Saying goodnight to them last night for the last time was unbearable. Knowing that I won’t be able to see their next big landmarks is the hardest thing for me to accept—Katie forming full sentences, Eoghan going to his first day of playschool, Katie being able to ACTUALLY jump, Eoghan writing his name on his own… I could go on and on. I know they say you can’t ever really love someone elses kids and I would never claim to love them as much as their parents love them, but I feel like I’m pretty close.

Needless to say I’ve been a basketcase over the past two days. I don’t know if Eoghan really understands whats happening but mine and Taylor’s crying did set him off a few times yesterday. I just pray that it won’t be long before I make it back to Killavullen. Those two little monkeys may not remember much of our time together, but the impact they’ve had on my life makes it all worth it.

Obviously I am devastated leaving Ireland and the life I’ve lived for the past year. Who doesn’t hate change? But after such a good experience there, I can only imagine whats in store for me next. I have a lot to look forward to and even more to be thankful about.

Thanks for staying up to date with my life across the globe. I honestly could not have made it without the love and support I knew I had at home. From the care packages and letters to the emails and actual visitors, I never felt like I was far from the people I love. Wish I could add more Eoghan and Katie stories, but I guess it will be a little while before that can happen again! Thanks yall. All the best.